January 2012
50 posts
Can’t sleep…. Still being awake at 4 in the morning during market week is reallllyyyyy bad. My hands freeze up and cramp at work, my legs twitch and cramp in bed. I shouldn’t have to fucking get out of bed several times a night to stretch… Sleep isn’t a fucking work out. RA or RLS probably both I’m only 22 really don’t feel like going back to the doctor to...
Woke up next to my vape. I need a boyfriend.
Eric and I broke up last night.
I had to be at work at 4 am for inventory. Ate some mex food with Bethany. Smoked with my magic flight box in bed. Cuddled pup. Not a bad fucking day at all. Maybe we were just over in my head a long time ago.. Oh well I’m really enjoying not crying or being upset over it :)
You lost interest in me???
I just died. Im dead.
And yet STILL those two fucks could not be given…
Texting while I'm high.
What really you don’t know, don’t know. So you can’t be judgin me.
"now no drinking and driving tonight"
Thanks dad but once again I’m not doing fucking shit tonight. God fucking damnit. Wine weed and closet floor here I come.
This is the first period I’ve had in a long time where I’m not all emotional with baby fever. I just want to cry on the closet floor, smoke a lot, and murder everyone.
Texts from the boyfriend.
“Well one of the bands we are managing is having a show tonight and i have to go. I would invite you but honestly…it’s not safe for you to be there. It’s an old biker bar and last year one of my friends got shot bc one of the dudes in the biker gang was feeling up his gf,
And you’re just way too hot :p but I should get out fairly early and I’ll try to see you...
Really high listening to Charlie Brown Christmas. :) feels so good on the inside :3
So today I find out my boyfriends new intern is a chick. Yes this is the boyfriend who I never see. I’m just lulling all over the fuckin place. I hear she’s fat but until I see in person im keeping my xanax within arms reach.
Over three hours later. I still don’t hear shit from you. You know I came home today. You’re hungover and high while I’m going to be sitting here until fucking wednesday when I go back to work. Fuck fuck. Seriously. I can’t even nap anymore I’m just pissed.
Love how my boyfriend never talks to me. LUL I am important.
Sunday January... 8th? Prob.
Go home to Dallas.. Fucking finally.
Clean apartment… Fucking finally.
My boyfriends company got a stage a south by sowhat, try to pretend I realize that it’s a big deal.
Venture to Irving to hopefully pick up my fun blue pills.
I’m still in bed and this is the fucking gayest to do list I’ve ever made and it’s making me want to stay under these covers forever.
Fucking toothbrush roulette.
PURPLE OR ORANGE.
Doubling up on the muscle relaxers hopefully I’ll sleep better tonight. Dallas and Eric I can’t wait to see you Sunday
Sometimes I just wish a pestilence would come through and wipe out all the undeserving. Me having lupus means I would most likely develop the illness, but maybe I am undeserving. I’m 22 with early stages of rheumatoid arthritis. Rock on old bodies. Do drugs, forget good medications, abuse and lose.
Watching a movie with my parents...
Don’t act drunk, don’t act drunk. Fml.
So I don’t have to work this evening. Can I just not exist today? Please and thank you.
WatchLily and stewie. Wild and crazy pups!
